Last thoughts
by Wolfgrowl
Summary: Sometimes, last words aren't as important as the final thoughts. The wolves reflect on some things as they die.
1. Hindsight: Kiba

"I won't give up, I won't give in." ~ For the Love of The Game, Pillar

I stagger forward before falling, crashing onto my side. The lunar flower lays in front of my muzzle, I can only stare at it. I'm unable to move, my body is stopping, but not my mind.

This is hardly how I thought this would end. My friends all dead, Cheza gone, I'm alone, even Darcia's dead. It's about time I stopped and looked at what happened. Hindsight is indeed painfully twenty-twenty.

Toboe, our youngest member. Everyone's little brother. I should've put you first, understood you weren't as strong as the rest of us. You struggled on anyway. I should've held you back, sent someone else. Someone who wouldn't have died. Toboe, I'm sorry. You were always trying and I didn't give you the time of day. I never told you that I was impressed when you killed the walrus…

Hige, you always kept things light. You were a good friend, loyal. You were the one who showed my pride was a fault. I should've paid more attention to that message. I should've done a lot of things different. Hige, thank you for standing next to me until the end. I'm sorry that I led you to this. If you'd left with Blue, maybe you would've been better off.

Blue, I never really paid any attention to you. I'm sorry for that. I'm so sorry. You gave up a lot to join us, and struggled to fit in. I'm glad you and Hige managed to have something in the short time you knew each other. I'm sorry I cut that short.

Tsume, you were always challenging me. I thought you would leave after awhile. I never thought you would stand by me like this. I thought you were being a pain every time you challenged me. I didn't realize you were putting the pack first in your own way. You were doing what I should have done, you were the only one with enough courage too. Hige showed me pride was my fault, you tried to make me remember it. You died a true wolf's death, you would've been a great second in command. Now I know what you are, everyone's older brother. I'm sorry I never listened to you.

A cracking noise startles me, as the ice I'm laying on gives out. I plunge into freezing water.

Darcia, I hope you rot in hell for what you did. And maybe, I ought to rot with you for what I did to my pack.

I look up, the red moon turns white. As I run out of air, I think, if only, we had a second chance. I'd do it right this time.

XXX

Author's note: There were times I loathed Kiba in the anime. He ignored everything but Cheza. But he kept the pack going, so I figured he earned this. Tsume's next!


	2. Dying Fighting: Tsume

"On the ground, I lay, motionless in pain. I can see my life passing me by." ~ Time of Dying by Three Days Grace.

Warning: Tsume cusses. Of course.

XXX

I never really thought about this. I never thought this would happen. When I stared it out, following Kiba, I never imagined, that we would all die. Except for Kiba, of course. I knew he'd be the one to open Paradise but come on, who thinks they're going to die on some half-assed excuse of a journey.

I'm not dead yet, but I'm close. I always was a fighter. But I guess I didn't fight hard enough for this pack. Maybe I should have fought a little harder.

Toboe, when we started out, I always acted as if you were a pest. Cause you were. But I didn't mind nearly as much as I pretended to. I just couldn't figure out why you wanted to hang out with me, when Kiba and Hige made much better company. Maybe because you thought I'd protect you from everything. I tried kid, I did. I should have been the one Kiba sent, not you. When I called you runt, I meant it as nickname. You were like a younger brother, I should have told you that. I tried to get some vengeance for you, runt. That didn't work out so well.

Hige. I never pictured this from you. I never guessed you were one of the wolves that worked for Jagura. Mostly because they were all brainwashed. You, on the other hand, seemed like a normal guy, girls and food were all you cared about. I treated you rather harshly because of what happened to my first pack. But I never planned to kill you. And if I could do it again, I'd pass on the experience. Geez porky of all the ways to go, I always thought you'd die from food poisoning.

Hey, what now, oh fearless leader? Now that you're the only one left standing. I tried, to fight for you against Darcia. I gave you a chance, I gave it my all against Darcia. Most of it was for Toboe though. Kiba, I challenged you because you seemed narrow minded. You had one focus, Cheza and getting to Paradise. I was just trying to point out the rest of us. I wish I could see this through, but I lasted as long as I could.

I can hardly see now. Kiba, slaughter that bastard for us. We fought with you as long as we could, finish it. And like I said, see you in paradise.

XXX

A.N. Tsume was my favorite character, far more than Kiba. He was, in my opinion, a natural leader. He was a strong fighter, tended to put the pack first, and wasn't afraid to challenge what he thought Kiba did wrong. This was hard for me, trying to keep him in character. I think I got his sarcasm…


	3. First to Fall: Toboe

"So what happened to bulletproof weeks in your arms? What happened to feeling cheap radio songs? What happened to thinking that the world was flat? Yeah, what happened?" ~ Bulletproof Weeks by Matt Nathenson

XXX

I hit the ground, wow, bullets really hurt. For a second everything goes black. Am I dead? If I am dead, I wish I could tell my friends some things.

Tsume, I tried. I really did, I tried to be as strong as you. You seemed impressed when I fought the walrus. Well afterwards, at first, I think you thought I was going to die. I'm glad I manged to impress my older brother at least once. I know I got in your way most of the time. You were always saving me, in the city, in the wasteland, really whenever I was in trouble. I'm sorry that I got in so much trouble. Thank you for getting me out of it.

Kiba, is this Paradise? It's just this large darkness. I pictured something so different. Maybe I can't get there! I hope that's not it. Kiba, if I don't make it to Paradise, don't blame yourself. It's because I'm not much of a wolf. But maybe I'm just dying. Kiba, keep trying, make it to Paradise.

Hige, you never stopped giving me a hard time. But then I realized if Tsume was the older brother I wanted to be, you were the older brother that clowned around but had something hiden, some depth. Good luck with Blue, have a nice life together.

Blue, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I could protect Pops. I never told you I saved his life once before. I understand what it's like, to have lived with humans, I did too. I'm sorry I failed. Try not to grieve too long; Hige'll be there for you. I hope.

Wait a minute, is that Paradise? Everything's getting brighter. Oh, no, it's the snow where I fell. I'm not dead, but I think I'm dying, something feels weird in my chest. Darcia's gone, but there's a smell of blood. Oh no, or as Tsume would say, shit! Pops! I shove myself up, managing to limp forward.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. He looks up at me.

"You? I'm the one that shot you." I don't have the energy to tell him I don't blame him. Instead I lay down beside him. I can feel him stroking me and I wag my tail.

"It was you. That time in the snow." I think I hear him say, "Why did you save me? Why not let me freeze?"

I think I hear Tsume in the background but things are blurring in front of me. Soon I'm not cold anymore, I'm warm and safe.

* * *

A.N. I hated Toboe's death!

Darcia: * tries to escape *

I've got you tied to a chair Darcia and I'll teach you. Toboe was just a kid! * pulls out a flamethrower * Who should I do next?


	4. Past Failures: Hige

Disclaimer: I don't own Wolf's Rain.

"When you finally trust me, finally believe me… I will… Let you down." ~ Let You Down by Three Days Grace.

Oh geez. Blue I'm sorry. That's all I can think, laying here on the ground, getting to my feet. Even as I limped towards, as we spoke. That mantra went through my head. Because I'd lead you here, to this god forsaken rock.

I wonder, did Kiba know I was lying about being right there? Did he know, like I know? That I'm not getting off this cliff. Darcia saw to that. Hey, Kiba, do you know that I don't regret it. Not a minute of this journey. Well, I regret the last, twenty-four hours or so, but otherwise, not a single regret. Asides from letting you down. I should've fought Darcia harder.

Toboe, I let you down too kid. Sorry. I was a little rough on you at times. And you died ten times braver than me. Way to show me up kid.

Tsume, I don't know what to say to you. I don't know how to tell you that I'm grateful you called me out when I was harsh on Toboe, or did something stupid. I don't know how to tell you I'm sorry for letting your kid brother die. Ironic, since you're the one leaping up the cliff face.

"Hey, you finally made it." I'll go out joking at least. Hiding behind my laughs. Never revealing that I feel so sorry, for letting you down.

As Tsume's teeth meet my neck I feel it's justice. I killed entire packs of wolves, and didn't bother to remember. I should've know something was off about me. But I just kept letting people down. I should've been smarter than this. I should've fought harder for Blue, for Toboe, for those wolves I don't remember.

Tsume hesitates, so I whisper one last thing. "Let's meet again. This time, in Paradise."

A.N.: Sorry this took so long. Hige was never my favorite character and plus, I never intended to write more than the first chapter. I had no idea for Hige. So I'll give it a try.

Also, I hope I got Hige right. The Kid brother comment refers to Toboe, not to Koutetsu, my OC from another story. He's not in this one. And I think I'm finished. Unless you want me to do Blue?


End file.
